In my line of work I get to talk to a lot of people and one thing I’ve noticed is that they all have a common theme; they all know what they don’t want, but they struggle with what they do want. I’m not saying this is a bad thing because we all have to find our way through life via trial and error. Not one of us on this planet wakes up at birth saying, “This is what I want to be, and this is who I will be.”
This dialog is an ever changing one when we are young. We might decide we want to be an Astronaut, Nurse, Doctor, Race Car Driver… and the list grows as we age and as we try different things. We go to college to study medicine only to find out that spinning records is much more fulfilling. Some of us get stuck doing something we don’t love for many years because of family obligation, or social acceptance. Breaking that cycle and really doing what you want is difficult and complicated.
It’s easy to say what you don’t want. It’s easy because you’ve either tried it or someone you know has tried and failed. Nobody wants a bad marriage. Nobody wants to get stuck in a job they don’t like, or a career that just gets them by. To finally sit down and decide what you do want can be depressing because it might seem impossible from where you are sitting right now. You might feel that you don’t deserve it, or you don’t have enough money, you’re not attractive enough, you’re too fat, etc. This dialog will never change until you change. Your circumstances aren’t going to magically disappear overnight. And they most definitely aren’t going to change if you’re stuck in the dialog of what you don’t want.
So Dave… how am I going to change this?
You can start by sitting down and writing down what you want.
If you write down that you want more money…. how much? What would it feel like to have that amount? What would you do with it? If it’s a new car… what color is it? What does it feel like to sit behind the wheel? Where would you drive it? Or maybe you just want to be happy. What would make you happy? What would it feel like to smile? When you are writing these things down, paint a picture in as much detail as you can. You can even create a vision board. Take some old magazines, cut out pictures that you like and paste them on your vision board. Prop the vision board up in front of your bed so that is the first thing you see when you wake up and then the last thing you see before you fall asleep.
Surround yourself with people you aspire to be like. I have a quote that I keep close to me at all times… “Attract what you expect. Reflect what you desire. Become what you respect. Mirror what you admire.” Surrounding yourself with people that you have nothing in common with, or that are negative does you no good whatsoever. Why are you with these people? What value do they have in your life? Is being around them helping you and them grow? If not, gently and with love… walk away.
Don’t tell the world what you want. Just do it. And by God, don’t post it on facebook!
A for sure way to stop you in your tracks is to tell the world what you want. What you are doing is inviting people to tell you that you can’t and that it’s impossible, or they’ve tried it and failed. You will get every excuse in the book and it will eventually wear you down and you’ll end up quitting yourself. I’m not suggesting that you don’t share what you want, but keep it to a small group of people that are inspiring you to do it. Start a meet up group of like minded people that will push you, and you in turn help them as well.
In summary, we live in a ‘Have – Do – Be’ world. If I have a great job, work hard, I will be happy. Unfortunately, we’ve been getting it all wrong. Turn that around to ‘Be-Do-Have’. If you are happy, and you are doing what you love you will have all that you desire…
So. Feel Good. Focus on right NOW. Focus on something, anything but the lack in your life.
