Arthur the Stripper
It seems like a million years ago now, but I remember how exciting the field that I fell into was when I first started.
Flashback to 1986 or so, I had just gotten out of what was to be my second enlistment in the Marines. I say ‘was to be’ because I never finished my second enlistment… hell, I had barely had a year in on my second tour. To keep it brief I had received a medical/honorable discharge after being hit by a car.
But this is not a story about my time in service, that I will tell you another time. This is a story about the career that chose me for close to 25 years. You might be thinking that I’m talking about music, or porn for that matter… not this time. This is talking about my career as a Graphic Designer, or whatever label you wish to call it now. It started out as Desktop Publisher which is just as foreign and confusing a name as ‘stripper’ is.
It started out as most careers start. I needed a job. I had dabbled in building houses for a short time until it got too cold (Cape Cod winters are pretty frigid). Then I worked as a line cook at a deli, Piccadilly Deli, to be exact. I was a Disc Jockey on a Classic Rock radio station (PIXY 103), and I was going to College. It’s amazing how much stamina we have in our youth. Sleep? Pffft. Over-rated.
By no means did I understand this statement when a college friend presented it to me…
“Hey Dave, we need help at Gnomon Copy.”
I looked at my friend with the most puzzling look and replied, “Copy? Do people make copies? Of what?”
That was the beginning. It was more out of curiosity than anything, but mostly it was because I needed cash. From copies, it went into paste-up, to computer design, labels, business cards… stuff like that. I won’t bore you with the details of my work life so I will narrow it down to just the highlights because I know in the back of your mind you are asking yourself…
“Who is Arthur the Stripper?”
One of my last jobs in Massachusetts was managing a copy shop on Main Street in Greenfield. As luck would have it I got fired (It wouldn’t be the last time either). Let’s just say that I have learned through all of my mistakes. Because Necessity is the Mother of Invention I decided to start my own design business. It was actually picking up traction when my partner decided that we were moving to Florida and because I wanted to honor my partners’ decision (we had only been married a month) and again that curiosity thing that I had mentioned above, had its grasp on me. We headed to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida where I was hired almost immediately at a print shop. I’m talking big Heidelberg 4-6 color printing presses. I was hired to help make the transition from paper to computer. For those of you that don’t know about the ‘olden days’, customers used to create their designs by pasting their pictures, text, etc. together on this blue-lined paper (the blue wouldn’t be picked up by the stat cameras when shot). You’re going to have to Google what that means. Ha!
My job, as I stated was to get the client to supply, on floppy discs, their documents, or I would sit with them to design their ads on the computer. Not an easy task. It’s like asking a baby to write out the formula for Newtons’ Law of Thermodynamics. Once I convinced these toddlers that I would make magic for them, they would eventually conform to this theory, which, as we see today… it worked. I would then print their design to film.
The old Linotronic 300, I believe that is what it was. When they first came out the film would stretch and the crop marks wouldn’t line up. You see we had to print out Cyan, Magenta, Yellow, and Black or K as they called it (CMYK). I hope I’m not losing you here… I’m really trying to make a point of all of this nonsense.
Remember Arthur? The Stripper?
In the other room, we had these HUGE light tables with people hunched over them with little magnifying glass things called ‘loops’. Their job was to ‘strip’ the film together. They would do it by lining up the crop marks, shooting the film and then getting it ready for the big old printing presses.
Remember I said that the crop marks wouldn’t line up when I printed out the film from the computer? That is where Arthur steps in.
“You damned kids and your computers!”
It was on a daily basis that this old film stripper, Arthur, would come into the computer room yelling and screaming at me because the crop marks wouldn’t line up and he would have to spend extra time cutting the film apart to make it work. Arthur was ‘old school’. He was a stripper for the New York Times back in the ’50s and ’60s. Back when massive rooms were filled with these light tables and people hunched over them. A dead art now, long gone. Most of these people ended up embracing the computer world and leaving their loops behind.
I feel like Arthur now. I’m the ‘old school’ Graphic Designer and ‘those damned kids’ are now my competition. Most of my design friends are still plugging away, and some have faded away.
Arthur never embraced the computer world. He went into retirement and probably never looked at a computer nor a cellphone for that matter. As much as I feel like Arthur now I don’t have the option of retirement. Long gone are the long-lasting jobs. There is no more loyalty in the job market. We’ve turned our loyalty to the almighty dollar. Conform or die.
I don’t want to leave this on a sour note, I want to inspire. So, that being said, as you conform yourself throughout the years to come, ask yourself…
Is what you are doing serving humanity? Because if it is not, you are wasting your time. Maybe Arthur had it right after all.
Following your intuition
I’ve written about this before in the past but as I learn more and more about our gut feelings, our intuition, I start to understand that following our thinking mind is the last thing we want to do.
Our thinking mind, our ego, is put in place to crunch numbers, to give us the tools for motor functions, such as limbs, speech, work tasks, etc. But what about the gut, and the heart? They have been doing research now that suggests that we have a second heart in our gut, per se, called the enteric nervous system. It is such a vast area equal to the heart and pretty much runs itself. So, when people tell you to follow your gut, it means a LOT more than you think.
I’ll leave you to look up the scientific information… I’m not here to convince you of that but I am here to tell you about my experience throughout the years.
A few weeks ago I was offered a gig back in California, it’s a one-off that might not amount to much more than doing the gig… well, at first I consulted a few of my intuitive friends to get their input that was very helpful but not essential because I had already made up my mind to go forward with it.
I am not who I was
A big part of my spiritual growth is recognizing that I am not who I was, and recognizing that the inner child, that dark abandoned aspect of my developmental years, still thinks I am who I was.
There have been many things of my past that I am not proud of. Things that I’ve done which now I wouldn’t even venture to do, were, non-the-less… done. So where do we take ownership of these things and put them on a shelf, and where do we realize that some of those aspects are still in our newer versions of ourselves?
I believe the key to understanding these former aspects and the growth that we’ve accomplished have, in fact, made us who we are today. It’s recognizing that where we were at that time, we were using the tools that we knew how to use for our best version of ourselves… at that time. Hopefully we’ve grown from that. Some do, and some don’t. It’s not for us to decide. All we can do as spiritual ‘be’ings is to recognize that they are no different where they are then where you are. So… recognition of the change from who we are is in fact validation that we are no longer our former selves, and at the same time there may be shadow aspects of ourselves that we still cling onto for some false sense of security.
I left my small town of Granby, Massachusetts, when I was 17. That was 39 years ago. I am not who I was then. So many different variations of who I am have changed over the many years. I would like to think that I am a completely different person. And here lies the dichotomy…
The other day I allowed a picture of my ex to throw me over the edge. I went into a deep over analysis of betrayal, remorse, depressed feelings of something left unresolved. After the episode passed, and after talking to several close friends, I felt like an idiot. I felt like all of this work that I had been doing on myself had been a complete waste. Well, after my Chernobyl incident, I went back to square one and started doing the work again. I started meditating again, and writing songs. I actually wrote a song called ‘One Love’. It is a song about loving ourselves and knowing that whatever we go through, the ups and downs, they are all part of our growth. I should know this, but when I’m having a nuclear meltdown all of that knowledge gets cast aside and the inner child who was abandoned feels abandoned, yet again.
I started doing this inner child work while riding my motorcycle across Texas. Texas is HUGE with nothing much to see except oil derricks, big open plains, and pickup trucks… LOTS of pickup trucks. It was probably the best place to do this inner child work. As the miles of nothingness ticked away the deeper I went peeling away the layers of myself to get to the root of all of this stuff that had been plaguing me since the age of 7.
What I’ve learned might help you as well to recognize some of these patterns that we all have, these programs that run in the background that create these limiting beliefs of ourselves. The first thing to recognize when you have a Chernobyl event like I just had, is this…
- You will lose your mind. You will have a temporary amnesia while it is happening because the programming comes front and center and takes over. It’s a defense mechanism where the child needs to feel security. Nothing else matters except that security.
- Don’t beat yourself up for the meltdown.
- Recognize the meltdown as not going backwards, but yet another part of the onion that needs to be peeled away.
- And last but not least… give yourself credit for recognizing it as not who you are, but that inner child wanting attention. It’s now time for you to be the adult and let that inner child know that it will be ok. That you’ve got this.
- Ok… one more. Thank your friends for being there during the meltdown because at some point you’re going to be the shoulder that they will need, so put your hazmat suit in the closet for future use.
So, what was the lesson for me and hopefully for you as well?
When we lose someone that we have loved we need to look at why we fell in love with these people in the first place. When a breakup happens we tend to only look at the ugly aspects of it instead of the good. We have to remind ourselves why we fell in love in the first place. Whatever the reason may have been at the time, that doesn’t matter. We did it. So what did you learn? Did you learn that you can never love again or that now you can love even more, knowing now what you’ve learned about yourself?
I would like to believe the latter.
Write the first response
What do you expect?
Along my journey I’ve learned a lot about giving and receiving. Many times along this vast journey there have been imbalances depending on the relationship or time in my life. I think that can be said for most of us, although I’d bet that a good majority will say that they’ve given WAY more than received. This might be true, but I’d venture to say that our Ego has those numbers a little skewed (I can hear ALL of my ex’s screaming right now, “That’s right asshole! I gave you everything!”).
I believe that a lot of giving and received comes down to expectations.
When we are in love this energy exchange is evident. You bring her flowers, she makes you coffee. You both sit on the porch swing chatting away, sipping your coffee, she leans on your shoulder and you feel the energy exchange between the both of you. It’s bliss.
You are both doing this without expectations. The love that you share, the mutual respect, the adoration, is flowing between you both. In the metaphysical world this is called ‘balance’, the Yin/Yang.
Let’s use this in an example…
He brings her flowers every day. They’ve been together for awhile now and one day he is just super busy at the office, he comes home without flowers. She is so accustomed to him bringing him flowers, but she doesn’t say anything, but instead of letting it go she doesn’t make him coffee… and so the descent begins.
Mind you, I made her out to be the spiteful one, but it works both ways.
He brings her flowers every day, but one day he forgets and feels bad about it, but doesn’t say anything. The next day comes and the guilt has set in, but he says nothing about it. Eventually he starts to feel guilty, and then he starts making up in his head that she doesn’t appreciate him anyway, “Why do I always bring her flowers? What does she do for me?” This mental chatter goes back and forth and he finally blows up at her. She, on the other hand feels like she has been hit by a Mack truck. Where the hell did that come from?! I know this from experience… I’ve been that guy.
So how do we stop this madness?
C.O.M.M.U.N.I.C.A.T.I.O.N.
Those 13 letters will save your life. Communication is the key. Seriously, it’s as simple as that. If you start feeling resentful, sit and talk to your partner. Allow them to discuss your feeling with them. Remember, your feelings are your feelings and if you feel a certain way it’s not dumb, or stupid, or selfish. They are your feelings, no matter how skewed they are. Make a time every day to sit with your partner and communicate your feelings. It’s your partner, not your buddy at a bar. This is the person that you’re supposed to confide in. Not dump on mind you… but to share your feelings.
If you aren’t in a partnership right now, that is ok. Now is a good time for you to see where in your past you might have built up resentment, where you might have created a mountain out of a molehill.
Look at it deeply. Do this now and clear it all up to prepare yourself for your next relationship. Dig deep into your soul and see what has stopped you from sharing in the past. What has stopped you from giving in the past… and most of all….
What has stopped you from receiving in the past?
Look back all the way to your childhood. Be meticulous. Look at different situations in your past where you’ve expected things. Be as non-judgmental as you can. Don’t go into beat-up mode for your past mistakes, use them as tools, to learn how NOT to do something.
And again… remember those 13 letters. COMMUNICATION. Without communication you can’t learn from tools that you’ve been using in the past, you have to acquire new tools. Be open to dialog with others, be transparent, give freely, receive freely, and never expect anything other than the lesson that you need to learn.
Peace!
P.S.
I’ve created a Patreon page and a Ko-Fi Page where you can go to donate and help me on my journey. This way I can continue giving coaching and Reiki for everyone for free.
If you would like coaching or Reiki just shoot me a DM or email me at iamarocksinger@gmail.com
http://www.patreon.com/davidreedwatson
http://www.ko-fi.com/davidreedwatson
What are you committed to?
Lately I’ve been pondering and studying manifestation and how manifestation takes a bit of commitment. We are usually pretty gung ho in the beginning but eventually it starts to fizzy out once we don’t see any results. A week goes by and we’re pacing the kitchen and wondering if we’ve done it wrong… so what do we do? We re-commit ourselves with a different idea thinking that the last one didn’t work. Father/Mother/God is going…. “Slow down there Jr.! If you’re committed, you’re committed, right?” I guess in a way Father/Mother/God (F.M.G.) is asking us if we are serious.
I mean, let me put it this way. Let’s say that everything that you’ve ever wanted came to you immediately. Think of all of the mundane things you wish for during the day. Would you really want all of your thoughts to manifest in front of your eyes? Really? I know I wouldn’t. You wouldn’t want to see the shit that goes through my head.
So, F.M.G. has devised a fail-safe way to manifest. They want to make sure you’re serious. You’ve heard the expression, “Good things come to those that wait.” If you truly believe in this stuff you have to trust that it will come but most of us give up and change our minds which must make F.M.G. crazy!
So here the question lies… how committed are you? Do you really want to see change? Are you committed to allowing it to happen around you and trust that it will as long as you are doing the work and moving forward?
It might take time, but I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that goes for timing as well.
Don’t give up or get discouraged too quickly. Just breathe and ‘Know’.
Peace!
P.S.
I’ve created a Patreon page and a Ko-Fi Page where you can go to donate and help me on my journey. This way I can continue giving coaching and Reiki for everyone for free.
If you would like coaching or Reiki just shoot me a DM or email me at iamarocksinger@gmail.com
I was so much older then. I’m younger than that now.
Yesterday I was hit full front with my past. Literally. I got to see how I have hurt others with my insecurities and where I still need to do the work.
Reparations come in many forms, be it from past relationships, to politics, religion, race… but they are essential to our personal growth. What they are saying is, “I’m sorry for the past and although I can’t change the past I can do my best to change our future.” It’s saying, “I’m sorry, I am not that person anymore.”
When we recognize where we’ve hurt others, where they have hurt us, it is saying that we must mend those old pains in order for us to grow. It is also saying to do the work. Dive deep and recognize your role so that these patterns never happen again.
I’ve mentioned before that I am diving deep into my subconscious and working on my abandonment issues. I had mentioned about Bruce Lipton talking about how the subconscious takes over when we aren’t being mindful. I know that for many years my subconscious was driving me, while consciously I was creating my own hell. Some do it through alcohol, some through drugs, some through sex, some through relationships. Whatever coping mechanism we use, they need to be looked at and recognized as just that… coping mechanisms. Nothing more.
When we look at these coping mechanisms we start to recognize where they’ve shown up in our lives, and when. They usually show up when we think we’re stuck, when we think that the answers will never come. We start to feel hopeless, when we say, “Here we go again. I’m just a fuck up.”
So do the work. Do it today. If you’re in a relationship, talk to your partner about it instead of hiding it. You might be surprised… they might thank you or they might leave. But is it worth living your life like this until the day you die?
Do the work.
Peace!
P.S.
I’ve created a Patreon page and a Ko-Fi Page where you can go to donate and help me on my journey. This way I can continue giving coaching and Reiki for everyone for free.
If you would like coaching or Reiki just shoot me a DM or email me at iamarocksinger@gmail.com
http://www.patreon.com/davidreedwatson
http://www.ko-fi.com/davidreedwatson