I’ve noticed a few people in our community suffering from this moodiness that has been going around. I know I have my ups and downs as well. A lot of it is the fear of the unknown. When we are in that space our brains are like a pinball machine. Up and down, back and forth, never knowing if you’re going to hit the big number or drop down in that hole. But, like the pinball machine, sometimes dropping down in that hole is the best thing that could ever happen to us.

Why?

Because it all stops. You get to reassess everything before you pull that plunger back and go for another round.

I have to remind myself of this almost on a daily basis lately. The other night I was tossing and turning and couldn’t sleep at all. Anxiety. Something I never thought I would have to deal with, ever. But… after exercising today (some days I have to make myself) I looked at that. What is this anxiety? Why is it happening now. Now… what I consider the best days of my life?

Bingo!

The Anxiety is the fear of the unknown. These are the best days of my life. I am following my dreams but that EGO (leggo my ego) is on my shoulder saying… “David… you better go back to being a Graphic Designer. Give up this music crap. You will fail.” I’ve realized that the closer we get to our dreams the louder that voice is on our shoulder.

That is why so many people never reach the success that they say that they want. They stop themselves in their tracks and go back to the same old routines. The same hum drum life that they’ve always said they wanted to leave behind.

So… what am I doing about this anxiety? Well… first off I am very lucky to have a partner that believes in me. Someone that is willing to take the risk with me. That is a very important thing to have in your life. If you don’t have that, ask yourself if you’ve chosen a partner that keeps you where you are because of your own fear? You see… we chose our partners, not the other way around. And its easy to blame that other person for our own limited beliefs in ourselves. I know you’ve heard it from some of your friends… “I’d do [insert your dream here] but I can’t because of [insert your partner here].” I urge you to look at that. I urge you to talk candidly with the person you are with. You should be able to talk about anything with them, but a lot of us are afraid that they will run away. You are both there to support each other. That is why you fell in love. Right?

Secondly… get into a routine. Exercise releases endorphins. Kind of like sex does. Have both! After exercise (and/or sex) you feel better about yourself, your situation and it puts everything back into perspective. It’s very easy not to do these things though… so I also urge you to force yourself into a routine. Believe me, it will get easier after a while.

And lastly… Watch what you eat. You’ve heard the expression ‘Shit in, shit out’? What we put into our bodies greatly affects our moods. That includes drinking too much, which we all do from time to time.

I hope this helps you as much as it helps me. If you find yourself stuck… book a Reiki session with me. I can do distance healings as well if you are not in the Las Vegas area.

On a final note….

Follow your fucking dreams already!
Peace,
David

This evening I was watching Woodstock. Flower Power baby! The clothes, the people, the attitude… all so familiar to me. Ah yes… eating organic, skinny dipping and records! We had Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King. We had change in the air and we had Vietnam. An ugly war. A War that the American people turned their backs on in shame, and to the men and women that served over there. I remember our next door neighbor coming home from Vietnam. He was a Marine. A tunnel rat. They always picked the little guy for that job. I’ve often wondered if I would be mentally stable after doing a job like that. Crazy really. Well… he was. He scared me and fascinated me. Probably another reason I joined the Marines myself. Being on the edge of fear made me feel alive. Maybe it’s because of the era I grew up in? Not sure… all I know is that the music touched my soul. It was dangerous music. Hendrix, The Stones, The Doors, Joplin, Jefferson Airplane, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Zappa, Marvin Gaye, etc. The music was dangerous because it asked us to wake up. It asked us to get off of our asses and to think for ourselves. Yes, there was pop music… the superficial crap. But who remembers that? Nobody. We remember the music that had the balls to say something.

I grew up in Western Massachusetts. Not far from where Woodstock was performed. The rolling countryside of the Berkshires and the Pioneer Valley. Amongst all of that beautiful land were Colleges. We had UMass, Amherst, Smith, Mt. Holyoke and Hampshire College all in my back yard. Back in the late 60’s – early 70’s College kids were living on the edge. Most keeping their grades up so they wouldn’t be drafted to go to Vietnam. Some burning their draft cards and most of them protesting. It was an extremely volatile time. I would hitch-hike to the Amherst Commons.. it was only about 5 or so miles away, but at the age of 12 or so it seemed like it was a world away. I loved hitch-hiking. It wasn’t like today, it was just another way to get around. Very rarely would I run into any weirdos. Most of the people I could get a good story out of. One day soon I’ll make it a point to write about those adventures, but this is a different journey I want to take you on. You see… the early 70’s we had the opportunity to change everything. We had the music, the message, the right politicians, activists to make it happen, but it didn’t. It’s something I’ve questioned most of my life.

What happened?

There were many variables but I think it all came down to money. The powers that be didn’t want change. They knew that if things changed then they would lose their grip so their only option was to tighten that grip. Buy the politicians. You buy the politicians, spin a believable story and you can control the masses. They did it with tobacco, then the food industry, then with oil. How do you make people believe a good story? Get them scared. Put the fear of God into them and keep them preoccupied with, as Chuck D said in the 80’s, “13 Channels of Shit”. A little joke there, but unfortunately it worked. It still works. I won’t name circumstances but we all know the big one that completely changed our way of living here in the United States. Regardless if you’re a so called conspiracy theorist or just a regular joe… shit changed. Drastically.

What’s different today from the late 60’s? People don’t fight for what is right anymore. They put on their blinders and go to Walmart. Today we are so quick to point the finger at somebody else instead of looking in the mirror.

So what is my point of this whole conversation? I don’t know, maybe its just the ramblings of a pissed off Marine that hates to see that the country that he served and was willing to lay his life down for really isn’t worth a damn anymore. What happened to the pride that we once had? I don’t mean the hatred… I mean the Pride. The people of this country that worked together because we are Americans. The people who didn’t lock their doors because we knew our neighbors. When did we get so greedy? When did we decide that more was better? When I was a kid we had one house phone. One. If I wanted something I would save my money to eventually get it. It wasn’t instantaneous. Now if we don’t answer a text within a few seconds people think we’re mad at them. So… is having everything NOW working? Hell No. We’re more miserable than ever and….

We’re quick to point the finger in the wrong direction. Turn that finger around. Yes. Point it at yourself. Once you change then the world around you will change.

In closing… I’m not an angry person… quite the contrary, I’m like a little kid. I’m still that kid that hitch-hikes to the Amherst Commons and talks to people.. I know what it takes to change the world and I know deep down inside somewhere in you, you know as well. Lets make some dangerous music together. What do you say?

Peace,
David

P.S.
Please listen and share my music and my words if you like what you hear. I have a new album coming out on Scarlet Records, September 18th with my band Kill Ritual. I hope to see you on the road.

Today would be my sister Darlene’s 48th Birthday. She passed to another plane in 2010. If you’ve ever lost someone in your life you will understand this. The mind can’t conceive that a person is gone from your life, we feel like they are still there but we are unable to contact them anymore, but I talk to her in my dreams. When I feel like I’m failing or I’m not on the right path I am reminded of what she told me when she knew she was going to pass…

“David, you have a gift. When are you going to use it?”

It was 2009 and I was in New York City doing a photo shoot with a new band and Darlene was in the Hospital at the time. I figured I would take a day, rent a car, and head up to Connecticut to visit her with the rest of my siblings. I remember seeing her on the hospital bed, she had lost a lot of weight and was very weak but still in the best of spirits, joking and laughing like her old self. It was nice to see her. At the time there was zero doubt in my mind that she would pull through this. She was the strongest woman I knew. She was a Chiropractor, a healer, and a very positive person. She was the hub of the family. That was the last time I ever saw her.

My sister and I used to get into deep conversations about Bach Remedies, healing powers of the mind, spirituality and the metaphysical. Our conversations would open my mind to bigger possibilities in this world and would eventually lead me on this spiritual path that I am on today. I’ve met people who knew her, that she inspired, and who have told me the same thing. She motivated people to be their authentic selves. It’s amazing that her business thrived because they would come in and she would fix them permanently. I think they just came back because her aura was infectious and her laugh was addicting. Just to give you an idea of how popular she was… at her funeral my family and I stood there for 5 hours getting hugs and condolences.

Happy Birthday Darlene. You are missed dearly but still here in my heart and a constant reminder that life is short and you never know when it will get taken from you. All of the money in the world can’t stop this and I have to remind myself each and every time that there is more to life than making a buck.

Whatever gift you have, share it. That is why we are here.

Namaste,
David